Monthly Archives: August 2003

Mind Boggling

Today, life at our house reverted to the old routines of school days.  It is good in some ways although I enjoyed the summer vacation freedom from getting kids up in the morning, making sure they have stuff they need before I leave in the morning or the night before, checking up on homework,etc.

For our kids, school brings a wide range of challenges and opportunities.  Some are good at it and others challenged.  You see, several of my children have learning disabilities.  Some we have just recently been made aware of.

Years ago, when we looked forward to having children, we thought that they would likely be of reasonable intelligence. We anticipated that they would like school – well maybe not “like” it but be sort of academically inclined.  After all, we thought we were reasonably intelligent and since we enjoyed our studies we assumed that our kids would be like us.  Shouldn’t they be? 

Well, they turn out to be quite intelligent.  But, some of my kids have learning disabilities.  

Dealing with a learning disability was not a challenge that I ever would have anticipated.  There were only a few recognised learning disablilities like dyslexia and hyperactivity back in the 70’s when our oldest were  born. And, like most young parents who get their kids minus the instruction book, we didn’t have a clue.  We assumed the temper tantrums were bad behaviour.  We assumed the problems with homework were due to insufficient motivation.  We know better now.  We also know that in our family it doesn’t all have to do with heredity.  I think these kids exist in many families – or else we somehow are a magnet for them.

The assessments that are done by educational psychologists now are absolutely amazing.  The body functions in an amazing way – and it is wonderful to study all the intricacies of our tiny constituant parts.  This is right in my area of interest and the functionning of the body I can understand (for the most part).  Even more amazing are the ways our body reacts to agents which cause disease.  Still, the study of the mind and how it works and functions, what can make it disfunction, and how it can be taught to work better, are all so incredible – so mind-boggling! 

We just went through a psychological/educational assessment with one of our kids.  We (my spouse and I) are beginning to recognize the signs of a learning problem earlier. We know that getting help earlier is better than later.  

It was so revealing to be told that this one of our kids has some high level processing disorder where words, by themselves, are understood but put together on a page in a story and the meaning dosen’t connect.  Where numbers by themselves are understood but when put together into problems or equations, the meaning becomes lost.  The connections that bring meaning to groups of words and numbers just isn’t happening. It’s so exactly what we see happening, so exactly what we have been frustrated by.  And if we, who don’t have to live inside this complex situation, see this lack of “getting it” as frustrating – how much more frustrating to be the child trying to figure stuff out.  Working so hard and just not getting things as easily as the rest of us.  And us assuming that the child has an attitude or laziness problem!

Then we were told that these problems can be managed – that there are special strategies that need to be learned.  This kind of understanding of how the mind functions is truely marvelous.  Now I understand why a book will never be a friend to her.  I am sad because books are great friends to me and she will never have that pleasure in the same way I do. 

But then – I can’t dance!  We all have our special gifts.

As a parent of children with special learning challenges, I found this post from The World According to Chuck.  He writes about his Inside -Out Boy.  I thought it was really special – as is his boy – and my kids.

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Escape!

Traumatic!  That’s what it was.

This morning a patient from one of our illustrious penal institutes was scheduled to see my partner.  We don’t usually see these patients anymore – we used to regularly but found the entrance of a prisoner in shackles through the waiting room of children or older people was not much of a practice builder.  So we started bringing the prisoners in through the back entrance. 

We stopped treating these patients when it became obvious to us that most of them just wanted out for a trip rather than actual dental treatment.  So they would get to our office and decide that they didn’t want to have anything done that day.  Or there would be no problem to treat – the imaginary toothache has disappeared.

Today was an exceptional day.  My partner had seen the patient in the past.  The patient requested to see him again.  Out of the goodness in my partners heart and our willingness to bend our less than rigid rules, he was scheduled for first thing this morning.

Today became an exceptionally traumatic day.  The patient requested to use the washroom.  The guard who was by himself took him there in his hand and leg shackles.  Our washroom has no windows.  Should be OK right?  After a few minutes alone in the washroom, the prisoner threw open the door, knocked the guard down and ran.  Shackles have been removed somehow.  Right there in front of our reception staff.  One of them was shaking in the back room after. 

It will be a long time before our receptionists book any more prisoners! 

My next patient didn’t show up.  So I came home for an hour.  I didn’t think the whole incident affected me that much but it feels good to write it down and get it off my chest. 

Update:  Randall provided me with a link to one of our local news stations.  Check it out here. 

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Good-Bye Kid

I didn’t make it to Gate Crashers today.  Over the past few weeks I have appreciated the time of sharing in prayer for my and other’s needs and joys.  But today I couldn’t go.  I couldn’t go for both emotional and temporal reasons. 

Today is the first day of school for the three kids I have left at home.  I hear one up showering now – she’s the early riser.  Now I know they will all be up in time to go even though I am not home to shoo them out the door.  They are all ready – spent last night organizing all their stuff.  I had to make two quick trips to Wal Mart in the space of two hours last night to get the last minute stuff.

I’m glad to see school starting again, although we will all miss the freedom of more relaxed schedules.  And school isn’t that easy for some of my kids, so it brings a lot of added stress into our lives.

But the hardest thing to do today was to give Patrick a hug and send him on his way.

Patrick knew so little when he came to live with us nine years ago.  He couldn’t speak or write English and his written French was to put it mildly “difficult” to read – no punctuation, no spaces between words and very phonetic but incorrect spellings of all those words that ran together.  Now he sits and writes away at his first novel – in French.  I think it his way of journaling to relieve some of his own private angst.  And his English – well it remains his second language, but he ‘s off to study at the university level in this second language of his – pre-law – philosophy as his major.

And oh, am I ever going to miss him!  This kid become a young man in front of my eyes.  This morning he was up early to leave for Saskatoon with Leo.  He sat down in the office next to me.  “I’m really going to miss you, Mom.” 

“Well, you really won’t be that far away,” I said.  “And I will see you on Sunday in Saskatoon.  And you can come home or call anytime you want to.”

Meanwhile my emotions are starting to churn and I look at him realizing that this is one of those moments a mother wants – but doesn’t want.  Separation.  Growing up and leaving home.  Taking a part of me with him.  He, leaving a part of himself behind with us – the part that has grown deeply rooted inside my heart.

So I didn’t make it to prayer this morning at the church.  I couldn’t leave early and not say good-bye. 

 

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Video of Kelowna Fire

Just watched a short video updated today of the fire fighting effort in Kelowna.  Link to it here.

Found this link through the Parking Lot site.

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J You Are The Best!

Today I realized again just what a great staff I have working for me.  One of my staff members has been waiting to see if she would possibly get into the School of Dental Therapy.  She applied a long time ago – just after January.  She dosen’t fit the ethnic group that the school tries to choose most of the students from – which caused some resentment on her part – but that is another story.  She has been at the top of the waiting list to get in since May.  I knew this and although I would really hate to see her go, it would be a great opportunity for her.  She is one of the most capable assistants we have in our office.  If it were not for the cost and the time she would have to commit to studying she might have applied to the College of Dentistry.  She could have done it too.

Last week she got the call – a place was now open for her.  A chance to increase her earning power to twice what it is now.  She turned the school down.  Her reasons – she has too many other things on the go right now that she can not just drop – like car payments.  But one of her reasons was that there are no dental assistants to hire anywhere in our city.  One of the other assistants in the office is pregnant.  J did not want to leave our office so short staffed. 

Such loyalty from our staff is a precious commodity.  I don’t know if I can find a way to show enough appreciation to her.  Next year she will probably go.  She’s irreplacable but we will have a year to look for another bright young woman to take her place.  J you are the best ! Thanks.

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Proverbs for the day

From my morning readings:

Proverbs 18: 2 and 4  (NLT)

2  “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.”

4  “A persons words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.”

I’m back to work today.  The break has been too short. 

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A great blog I recommend

Chuck at The World According to Chuck writes some really great stuff.  In his latest he is sending his daughter off to school.  And as I send one of my kids off to University too, I identify with the feeling that something is going to be missing around here.

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Birthday's and Old age

Sunday’s are always full of stuff to do.  Not work stuff, unless I have the misfortune of being on call, but full of family and kids and friends. 

My oldest son and wife were up from Saskatoon.  They moved some of Patrick’s stuff down to their place yesterday so they brought him home and stayed overnight.  They don’t come because we have the greatest beds that is for sure!  Usually they just sack out on the couch but last night Sara was away so Michelle got the use of her bed. 

Michelle’s mom lives on her farm just north of Prince Albert so they went out there for supper then back here to sleep so they could come to church with us this morning.  Today we all ate lunch with Steve and Lisa(our youth Pastor and wife) and Mathias.  Then Eric and Michelle headed back out to the farm to see Michelle’s mom again and then back in here to visit Grandpa who is 84 today.  They do an incredible amount of visiting while they are here – like non-stop!  I admire the way their relationships with people are so important to them.

I was visiting my dad too, before they arrived at his house, eating some cake and ice cream with my aunts who are also getting up in age.  The conversation was something else!  We were discussing (or at least they were) which were the better choices for seniors homes.  There is a new one being built just across the street from our church – fairly expensive.  Basically a room with a bath, common living and eating areas – very nice layout.  But the concern seemed to be that someone else might mistakingly take their stuff from one of these common areas and that would create conflict. The other concern was that they had better get on a list somewhere or you might end up needing a place and have nowhere good to go. I sat there thinking – is this going to be the subject of my conversation in another 30 years? 

I don’t know what I am thinking will be happening when I am 84- maybe that I would be discussing current events?  Grandchildren’s lives?  Music and artistic things?  Maybe I should go and get on a list and get that hurdle out of the way!  Ah Heck!  When I’m 84 it probably won’t matter what the people around me are discussing – it will all be new to me!

 

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That Clean Feeling

Our home is heated by hot water through a boiler, pipes, radiators.  We haven’t needed much heat over the past few weeks.  In fact every summer we keep wondering if there is any way that we could put air conditioning in.  Every year we run out of the necessary funds to even consider it so that is about as far as it goes.  This year, it sure would have been nice – but now we have made it to almost the end of August – surely it will start to cool off.

We have had more than our share of trouble with this boiler.  It was installed during a nice cold snap in February about two years ago – while we heated the house with every electrical heater we could get our hands on.  We survived for about a week then.

Last year we had a problem with one of the valves.  We discovered then that no shut off valves had been put into any of the four loops of circulating pipes. 

Also trouble with the air intake – if it doesn’t get enough air it shuts itself off.

We couldn’t call the plumbing company we had bought it from – they went out of business – wonder why?

Our hot water is heated through the same system. By the same boiler.  Yesterday morning we got up planning on nice warm showers.  No hot water!  This time the ignitor went.  And to make things worse, the part has to be ordered in.  This time we decided to go with the largest and most reliable plumber in the whole city.  They ordered the part and maybe today sometime we can finally get those warm showers we are all waiting for.  If not, well friends and relations – here we come!

Update:  The part came in! Yeah!!!  We have now been cleaned with hot water.  All ready for church tomorrow – can’t go to church without the good old Saturday bath!

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It's Bright and It's Orange

One of my daughters is in love with bright colours.  I promised her that she could paint her room this summer if she was willing to do most of the work herself.  And I did say that she could pick out her own colors but please not to pick black. 

Well she did Not pick black.  First of all there were several coats of Marigold Yellow.  She was disappointed because she really wanted Neon Orange and the color just was not orange enough for her.  So like a good (ie: too easily persuaded) mom, I went and bought a quart of Orange and we just spent the afternoon doing a thing to the walls with cheesecloth and paint.  Now it is orange!  With the stippled ceilings Marigold Yellow!  If you walk in you think you are a little closer to the sun – not desirable these hot days.  Maybe in the middle of the winter the brightness will help her to wake up early for school!

Next thing she is doing is to paint her furniture Lime Green.  No kidding!

I would have taken a picture (and maybe will later) but the camera has gone on a journey with it’s rightful owner.  Leo has gone down south.  In this province that is just about anywhere south of Prince Albert.  He is going to the deep south- south of Assiniboia – down into French Canadian territory.  He grew up in the little town of Lisieux and this weekend is going down to help his brother pour cement.  They are pouring a grave cover for his father who passed away a few years ago now. 

Rachelle, our oldest daughter, is driving down with him, which is nice since it is a long drive.  She is anxious to see the dog which she gave to Uncle Paul because the dog was too rambuncious for our backyard.

Patrick is also in the process of moving down to Saskatoon.  He moved out some of his stuff this afternoon.  I think he will enjoy university but is a little bit nervous about it all.  Glad he’s going to be living with Eric and Michelle (our oldest son and wife). 

 

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