Monthly Archives: August 2003

Confession

Everything I really wish for seems, 

All my unspoken dreams,

So out of reach.

My attitude so self absorbed

Grace hardest to achieve.

 

Sleepless, I sit awake at night.

Machining words in space.

Confession costs

If I confess, then I must  change

And what if I cannot?

 

Sometimes I hate the ones I love

And tottering on the brink

Of violence.

Slash with words irretrievable

Once they are spoken.

 

O Great God my Father!

In love you promised me

Forgiveness.

Redeem, Please make me yours again.

And set me free.

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The Climbing Tree

We have the best climbing tree in all the town.

Under its shade and in its branches

Things go on that only it could tell.

Children climb

Lovers cling

And insobriety takes a rest.

 

Do they think you don’t know, O ancient wood

And store it up within

Veins among pith and resin?

You watch silent

They unaware

That you report to the Almighty.

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Joy

It is harder to write of joy

Than sorrow.

But one without the other

Is either

Heaven

Or Hell

 

To be filled with irrepressible

Delight

Is a pleasure known only

To long

Time

Lovers.

 

So do not strive too hard

For pleasure.

It comes unfettered

Only

In the

Hereafter.

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A Holy Moment: Thoughts on Communion With God

It was a Holy moment,

The breaking of the bread

The drinking of the wine

The passing of the peace

In reverent liturgy.

 

It was a Holy moment

It is finished”

Taking the torture for me

My heart so hard.

Doing it anyway.

 

The moment waits. Auspicious,

In quiet pursuit, wanting,

Or unable, by my wooden head,

To bring the mystery to bear

As it should on my soul.

 

It circles the edge of my soul

Trying to enter

To bring reason and order

To the confusing themes

Of everyday life.

 

But I miss

Grasping the pierced hands.

Clinging to my own marred

Dreams of ambition.

Slipping t’wards oblivion.

 

So I remain, holding

My own fate in my deformed claws

Grasping at straws while

Eternity waits

Ever so patiently waits.

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Famined

Famined          

 

Hunger hardly tells the half of it.

Famined is more like it.

The deep pit of the belly reels.

The very inner self cries for food.

 

Skin and sinews left on bones.

Bellies round and full of nothing.

Eyes black in their sunken sockets.

Flies circle waiting for their prey.

 

A mother keens for the child

Suckling at her shriveled breast.

Knowing the end is soon

Too soon for her first and last born.

 

God take them quickly

Let them drink from your life giving stream

Feast them at your table.

While we, satiated, rot in our own garbage.

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Attributes

Attributes        

 

Holy

Like communion wine

At the last supper

 

Bread

Of heaven come down

To feed our souls

 

Light

Inside our dark

And ignorant ways

 

Wisdom

Beyond comprehension

His ways never wrong

 

Eternal

Before Moses was

He is the I AM

 

 

Easter 2003           

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Today

Today             

 

Today I got to do one thing

That I won’t regret.

Someone needed to feel

OK with themselves.

I think I helped.

 

I usually find my own ego

Getting in the way.

Lashing out like

A tripping vine

In the sometimes shady jungle of life.

 

Today I did it right!

I listened to your voice.

When and where I least expected

I saw your hand

At work in my busy day.

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I Wish For…

I Wish For…   

 

Freedom

            From the rush and grind of daily chores

            From the need to be two places at once

            From the mistakes I’m always making

            From being me and being insufficient

 

Time

            To do all the things I wish…

            To finish all the procrastinated chores

            To finally catch up

            To rest in His love

 

Space

            To be neatly organized

            To have all beautiful and clean

            To call my own without being lonely     

            To have no one encroaching on it

 

Quiet

            To listen to You           

            To hear You answer me

            From the daily bustle to be free

            To have real quiet inside

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Please God

Please God         

 

I mess up.

I go on retrying but mess up again. 

I want to change-not!  But yes I do!

What will bring me to the perfection I want?

Will you do it Lord? 

Will it be only over there where I can be in your presence reflecting your righteousness?

I suspect that’s the case ‘cause here I just can’t seem to get things right.

I mess up.

I will just go on retrying to do it right till…

In that good time You will make it right. 

Forgive my feeble halfhearted trembling tries.

Please God!

 

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Smokey Banff

One of the most unusual experiences on my trip to Alberta was the amount of smoke in the air.  Usually as we approach Cochrane, just west of Calgary, we have a view of the mountains in the distance.  Not this time.  Everything was shrouded in a haze of smoke.  On Sunday the smoke was enough to obscure the mountains in the distance.  Monday it had cleared enough to see them, although not the pristine white snow covered mountains we have come to expect of Banff – but they were there – as if covered by light clouds. So far this smoke was coming from fires much farther away than Banff – mostly in BC.

On Thursday, my sisters and I went for a day trip up to the area around Banff and Canmore.  As we approached the Banff area this is what we saw    just about one ridge of hills from the highway.  We had planned a trip up to Johnson lake to see if the trail around the lake was open.  It wasn’t – due to the presence of Grizzly’s in the area – not the fire.  We spent some time there watching the interesting process of getting water to fight the fires in helicopter carried buckets – each carrying about 45 gallons.  Seemed a bit like spitting at the fire to put it out!  As we watched I captured this interesting shot – Helicopter picking up water while close by a canoe passes and if you look closely, the head of a very foolhardy swimmer is seen out there too.  Wonder if anyone has ever been scooped up and dumped on a fire.  It seems to me that happened somewhere.

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