Daily Archives: October 23, 2003

There are times when I question

There are times when I question things that I believe.  The whole question of free will that I struggle with at this time – well I do not so much question that this is the way it is and has to be but that I have to deal with the results of my own free will and that of my children – and everyone else around me.  I am not patient with myself.  Sometimes I am not patient with my kids, fellow workers, etc.  I want them to see the light and change now! 

As Philip Yancey says in his book, “I want God to take a more active role in my personal history too.  I want quick and spectacular answers to my prayers, healing for my diseases, protection and safety for my loved ones.  I want a God without ambiguity, One to whom I can point for the sake of my doubting friends.”

Would the people of Jesus’ day have understood a God that acted to save them from the Romans?  I guess that is what the parable of Lazarus and the rich man is all about  We’ve been given enough to believe.  God isn’t going to push himself on us because he wants our love not our rote actions; not the movements of puppets. 

Just the same, there are times when I wish…  I am human and I want the easy way for me.

But God waits, patiently, for me to trust in his ways.  He doesn’t force me to give the “right” response.  Instead he accepts my feeble attempts to follow him, my inadequate worship, my childish displays of love for him. 

So I return to that place of utter awe at how he works.

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