Monthly Archives: March 2005

If you take a peek over at Randall’s site, you will get a look at what we were doing early this morning.  It was good, if a bit on the wintry side.  It really wasn’t as cold as it seemed last year when the snow had already gone.  But the sun – well saying it rose did require a bit of faith – but we were sure it was up by 6:48 as predicted.  It is always fun having everyone in to our home for hot drinks after. 

And there were a couple little spiritual treats to the morning.  My partner(business) apparently wanted to be there this morning.  I wonder sometimes at the circumstances that provide the incentive for faith to take small steps in the right direction.  It is good to see.

Then an Easter celebration.  To say that it was “good” to be there this morning worshipping with this community of faith that has become so close to me is an understatement.  I don’t have a word that describes the feeling of support by friends during a time of trouble.  The love shown to us by these people is as much proof of Jesus’ resurrection as the witnesses that saw him in person.  Jesus’ Spirit was there working through just ordinary transformed people saying his words to us, letting us lean on them right now.  And the other thing that I celebrated today was just the way that the fledglings are trying and starting to flutter their wings of faith.  I celebrate the fact we have people in our midst that are free to come and learn and check out what this whole God thing is about.  I hope we can show them how much we care about them too.

This afternoon was another reason to celebrate.  Dad got to attend church today and this afternoon we got together at the home to spend the afternoon with him.  We had our dessert together, visited in his presence. (He mostly stayed awake)  Then we brought out the violins and my recorder and we sang and played some of the old Easter hymns.  My kids stayed and sang along with the others, bless them.  Well the dessert was a pretty good reason to be there but they could have chosen to take off and not stay for two hours.

Then to top it off, I was napping on the couch and Grace came by. We had a good, not-angry, kind of mother – daughter talk.  Some stuff about pregnancy.  Some stuff about the boyfriend.  And a lot of stuff about faith, some differences that are important between our faith and the Muslim faith, and how we might explore together what faith in Jesus is all about.

This morning I went to the combined Good Friday services that our church participates in.  Perhaps it was the hasty manner in which it was put together this year but it seemed more like a pep rally than a worship service to me.  Lots of singing.  Lots of exuberance in the service.  I know God was there but I just cringed a bit at the inference that it was so great so many Christians of different denominations could worship together – as if that was somehow so wonderful and not the norm to be expected.  Just wondered what we were all doing in there in our huddle cheering when the real game is going on around us outside the walls of all our churches.  I think I was looking for worship.  I needed to connect with God on a deeper level than what was going on.

But last nights service as we gathered around the Table was meaningful enough to allow me to ride a bit on the presence of God that was in that place last night.  It is hard to put into words the significance of serving the elements to friends who have become so close and who through our present troubles are standing by us.

This wekend Sara is off to play soccer in a tournament in Calgary.  I think the reason for entering the team in this tournament is to give them a chance to play in a larger venue – at least in theory.  I think it is more about the trip than about soccer – but maybe I am wrong.  I have to remember to put money in said girls account so she can live off healthy food for the weekend – like McD’s.  But remember, they are going to get plenty of exercise.  I hope she has a good trip and lots of fun.  The events of the past couple of weeks have been stressful on her as well as the rest of us. 

This afternoon I switched vehicles with my son so that he, wife and son could make a trip to Saskatoon.  I get the pick-up.  It has a few quirks.  CK brought it over to my office but forgot to lift the brake pedal – which for some reason turns the lights off. (do you think we might have a short of some kind?)  It was as dead as a doornail when I was done work.  So I had to get a boost.  David warned me about some other quirk but for the life of me I can’t remember what it is.  I expect I will find out and hopefully the trick to fix it will come back to mind as well.  Oh well – my grandson must ride in style.  At least in safety.

My daughter wretches and cries in the bathroom next to our bedroom.  I hear and want to wrap my arms around her.  She knows I am upset.  I was angry last night and now she won’t let me near.  It seems everything I do is the opposite of what I need to do or say.  I am so afraid for her.  I need the right words.  I need wisdom.  I need love that will meet her needs, not my own.  I need patience.  And I’m not doing so well with any of the above right now.  Yesterday ended badly. 

Today is another day.  Maundy Thursday.  It’s hard to go to the table unforgiven, apologies unaccepted.