Why does God seem to throw these big challenges up in my face? Sometimes I wish he would put choices before me that are more palatable. But I know enough to know that some things are commands. Like “love one another.” “Do good to those that hate you.” Jesus didn’t just mouth these words. And I can’t and claim to follow him either.
So, has he done this – putting the mother of my daughter’s boyfriend in my care as a patient? I know that I can carry on providing good treatment. I don’t let whether I like my patients detrrmine how well I do their work. And we did not have to carry on a conversation since she hardly speaks any English. Thank God for that. At least that is how I felt. I was hoping she would not ask me anything about Grace – and she did not. I don’t know what I would have said. But she did say “thank-you” in a very warm and friendly way as she left.
Maybe I should claim a conflict of interest and ask my partner to care for her. But she is a Muslim woman and he is a man. I suspect this is the main reason I was chosen to provide care. So passing off her care would not be kind or respectful and she has done me no harm really – not her.
It is very difficult to respond in love. I know Jesus would not have shunned this woman. So I know what I am expected to do. But the feelings sure are not there. I don’t know what I feel. This woman who has come to Canada from the Sudan; to a land where the language and customs are foreign, where people must look at her strangely, covered from feet to head as she is. I pity her more than I care about her. I don’t want to learn to love her really. But there she is in my face – or rather I am in hers, and will be for several more visits.
What will become of us – bound together by a common grandchild and a strange doctor/patient relationship? God – help! I really don’t want to even think about it. I did not choose this struggle and right now I don’t want to face it. But…
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Learning to love the I-don’t-wanna-love is a hard lesson … and one that God keeps trying to teach me, too!
🙂
sounds just like him.
I would have said that it seems an amazing example of the grace of God. He’s placed someone who is a potential ‘in law’ in a position of dependancy and indebtedness.
On top of that, her son has done something that she, as a mother, should also find disturbing and a matter of great concern, if she has any love and care for him at all. It would be no suprise to me if you did not end up supporting each other through what must be a difficult time for both.
It may not help, but I’d say she’s no further from God than all those fellow canadians that go to church and fit culturally, but have no living faith in Jesus.
FWIW I remember a friend with 2 daughters expressing how he would feel if one of them brought a black boyfriend home. He’s christian, but a big guy, with a rough background and robust outlook. His response would have mostly involved directions toward the gate, together with a suggestion of not returning. He couldn’t understand it when we suggested we’d see want to what the guy was like.
This really feels to me like God’s provision, rather than God’s challenge. I’ll try to keep remembering you.
I’m speechless…..and chuckling (at God). As always, I’m here for you…..