Monthly Archives: December 2006

Thoughts on an execution

It is hard to figure out why I should feel sorrow over the execution of a foreign leader who I personally had no interaction with.  In fact no one I know has had any kind of personal interaction with him or the regime which caused so many Iraqis distress and pain.  So it seems as if I should just be a disinterested bystander, acknowledge that a just decision was made by the courts in his country and leave it at that.  

 

Last night while I was watching a bit of the news the story was being played.  I imagine we will see many documentaries on this in the future.  This isn’t the first leader to have slid into disfavour by destroying his country in building up his personal power and wealth.  You would think they would learn from each others downfalls.  The quest for power doesn’t seem to leave people alone.  Once in a position to grasp it, power seems to have a demonic force that destroys those who take it.  So the old saying that “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely” has been shown again to be true.

 

So, why should I feel any sadness at all over this man who let evil destroy him?  I think it may just be that – he let evil win in his own life and let evil use him to perpetrate horrors on others.  Our judgement on him is probably just.  But, was there no good in him?  Had he so destroyed the image of God in himself that we should rejoice in his death?  

 

I see no cause for rejoicing or even for relief.  The regime put in power now could in time become just as evil.  That has happened too often to look on this execution as cause for hope. 

 

As Randall states in his post, “The bloodshed he caused has led to more bloodshed, which tomorrow will lead to even more bloodshed.”

 

Hope comes from another source entirely; from a source that looks like foolishness to the great power brokers and politicians of the world.   Still, I think we saw some of that foolishness happening in South Africa.

 

 

 

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Seeing God in the "commonness" of the day.

“It is not God we’re missing.  It is the awareness of God in the commonness of life that we fail to cultivate.”  Called to Question by Joan Chittister p 40,41

 

Journaling the events of the day and paying attention to the places where I have been aware of God’s presence during the day not only help me to remember those times but keep me on the lookout for God in the ordinary circumstances of the day.  Whether I am cooking supper, babysitting, listening to a child’s problems or working at the office I will encounter God if I pay attention.   But God generally will not yell or resort to fireworks or visions.  Just a very still small whisper that I sometimes must strain my ears to hear.  I suppose for me journaling is like wearing a hearing aid, helping me to hear God.

 

On the other hand, when I am using time in a wasteful way (and I do not mean relaxing or leisure time because that is good time but rather time when I know I am  blocking out the responsibilities I should be taking care of) then I am blocking God out.  If I cannot carry on whatever I am doing as though God were at my side, I am closing the door on his presence, telling him that I am busy, come back later when I feel like it.  I can hardly expect God to come and go at my pleasure as if he were mine to command. 

 

Today, going for a walk was the best thing I did.  I had forgotten how good the clear fresh air tasted.  I had forgotten how good it was to walk in God’s presence with my eyes open to his world around me.  How green the evergreens are against the snow.  The sun’s rays slanted a warm gold across the open snow on the river to the trees on the island.  It was good to stretch my limbs and muscles.  How badly I need to do this regularly! 

 

Last night I watched Zaka as Grace had some business to take care of, helping out her brother.  He is beginning to walk and he knows that he can perform this feat to our great delight.  He toddles about 10 steps between couch and coffee table then stands up to clap for himself.  It is a much fun for him as for us watching.  It is a delight to watch him develop, to see him discover things he can do and see that once he has it figured out he adds that skill to his growing repertoire.  He learns new things almost daily.  I hope that the joy and love we are able to share with him now also is also stored away inside to be drawn on later to help heal the hurtful parts of life that will come someday. 

 

Both these events – the walk and watching my grandson – were places I met God.  Nature is an easy place for me to encounter God.  It holds endless things to wonder and marvel at.  And a child beginning to discover life – just watching him discover walking or pushing a ball down a tube – that is an experience in the reality of being “fearfully and wonderfully made.

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St. Theresa of Avila on Prayer

In her book Interior Castle, Teresa of Avila describes various stages in the prayer life of a person who is seeking God.  As her life of prayer develops; as she comes closer to the state of union with God, nothing becomes more important than doing God’s will.  It becomes the chief desire.  She describes the state of such a person as similar to the state of sealing wax. 

 

“In reality, the soul in that state does no more than the wax when a seal is impressed upon it – the wax does not impress itself; it is only prepared for the impress; that is, it is soft – and it does not even soften itself so as to be prepared; it merely remains quiet and consenting.” 

 

I like that analogy.  Being soft.  Being pliable.  Being ready for God to put his imprint on us.  Nothing we do or have to do except be available; “remaining quiet and consenting.”

 

“Oh, goodness of God, that all this should be done at Thy cost!  Thou dost require only our wills and dost ask that Thy wax may offer no impediment.” (Interior Castle p. 96)

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Day one of vacation

Today is the first of a few days off.  Yesterday and Monday too were stat holidays but the next few days are simply off.  Buisness gets real slow between the two holidays so we generally just close.  We would rather be home than waiting for patients who forget to come; we would rather be sleeping in ourselves than waiting for patients who do not come because they slept in.

Yesterday I sat soaking in the tub for over an hour using some of the wonderful stuff my staff gave me.  I haven’t done that for a long long time.  And all my family got to eat was leftovers and some cook it yourself pizza. 

I began reading one of the books I got a while back to read for my personal interest project for my class.  My project is on women and spirituality so I am reading a couple of the early women mystics and some of the deeply spiritual women writers of this and the past century.   On my wish list to read are works by Theresa of Avila, Marie de l’Incarnation, Simone Weil, Dorothy Day, Sue Monk Kidd and Joan Chittister.  If I had more time I would read some of the other early women mystics too.  But I seriously think I need to read and take the time to think about what these women wrote and no try to read everything just now.  Reading the ancient writings of these women mystics takes awhile.  The style of writing is so different that it sometimes gets in the way of grasping the understanding of the message.  Therefore I need to stop and think about the essence of what they are saying and what God wants me to here from them as well. 

I want to hear from these women some of what it means to be a woman created in the image of God.  I have been following the discussions over at Jesus Creed for the past few months as well and have learned a lot from those discussions – some good and some of the oppressive sort of stuff we women have lived with for ages.  Some of what I am reading now deals with these attitudes and I will share some of this in later posts.

One of the best things about being on vacation for me is a lot of time to read – guilt free time off.

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The Night Before the Night Before

I have been running full steam all day.  I think we are going to make it.  Presents are wrapped – mostly.  It always seems to be about now that I realize that one of the kids has no requests and I have no clue as to what they want.  Cold hard cash always seems to work. 

Anyway it is just about too late to do anything different.  I am about worn out.  My feet are killing me and I am too tired to use the foot soak stuff my front staff gave me.

 

And this is supposed to be fun?  This is celebrating? 

I think I need a good sleep.  Please God, keep Leo from snoring tonight – well, keep him breathing though.  Oh, you know what I mean God.  Keep us both in the safety of your hand and give us good rest.  We do want to be in a celebrating spirit for the day we remember your birth.

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Good as new

I think I spent a small fortune today for the privilege of parking at St. Paul’s Hospital in Saskatoon.  Maybe Patrick was just nervous but we were at the hospital a good 5 hours early.  A bit of misunderstanding and definitely not wanting to be late.  So I stayed with him a couple of hours.  Since he had a bed, he decided that he would catch a bit more sleep so I left to do some shopping.  I think I wasted about a half an hour of credit on the parking pass that time. 

I came back to the hospital so I would be there when he left for the operating room.  They wheeled him off at about 12:30 so I left again and again lost some of the time I had paid for. 

The next time I came back to see him when he got out of recovery thinking that this time I would not pay for so much extra parking.  They estimated that he would be an hour back in the day surgery area before he could leave.  It took him a good hour after I got there to even realize I was talking to him!  This time I had to run out a couple of times to buy more parking time but at least this time I used every minute of what I paid for.

Next time I will get the day pass.  It just seemed like 7 dollars was a bit steep.  I think I spent more than the all told. 

I’m glad it wasn’t 40 below.  Running back and forth between the car and the hospital would have been more unpleasant.  As it was, the temperature was pretty warm – slushy dirty wet snow. 

And I think the boy is feeling pretty good.  When he finally woke up they filled him up with good drugs and I filled him up with good food and drove back to PA.  First thing he did when we got home – raided the fridge.  Then dug into the pizza the other guys ordered.  His appetite has revived nicely!

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Staff party

We always have a couple of parties at Christmas.  There is the sort of formal invite your spouse party that we have catered. 

This year that one happened back on the 9th.  We ate a great meal drank a fair amount of good stuff and then went glow bowling, where some of our illustrious staff members drank a little more good stuff.  The bowling seemed to deteriorate as we went along – scores that is.  The games did get funnier.

Tonight we had our wind-up staff party. 

Some of our staff did get wound- up.  We had a talent contest, of sorts.  I got a lovely shot of W. V. in a Sumo wrestling suit.  I may post pictures or maybe I will just keep them for blackmail later on.  If I post them I can never tell you her real name.  I just may post them!

We had a fun time – much laughter and lots of pizza.  Did the Chinese gift exchange thing.  I wonder how it came to be labeled as chinese?

Now here I am in Saskatoon.  Patrick has some surgery – a hernia repair tomorrow.  I will just be a mom anxiously waiting for him to come of of the anesthetic.  Prayers are always welcome.  And thanks.

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Tonight the tree crashed

What more can one say.  I lost a very beautiful handpainted ornament that was a gift from a staff member and a couple other handmade things as well. 

Stupid tree stand.

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That's talking

Can you imagine being a six year old boy in the middle of rural Congo being handed a cell phone and being asked to talk to your father on it?  

 

That is what Massa and his son Joseph were doing via my phone at 5:30 am our time.  Massa said his son did not quite understand the phone.  He could tell the people there what he heard but talking back was a bit beyond him.  But Massa talked to the boy’s mother and she is in agreement that it is best for Joseph to join Massa and has signed all the necessary papers transferring custody to him.  If Canadian immigration has any heart at all, Joseph should be joining Massa within the year.

 

It is impossible to do things like this without Jacques’ help.  What a wonderful man he is – to travel to Karawa, find the mother and son, make this phone call, take care of the paperwork, and all this in the wake of his own disappointment.  He has been denied a visa to visit his own children in Canada.  Jacques hasn’t seen Christian for about 4 years, Patrick went out to visit him a year ago.  But Canadian immigration deems Jacques a risk to come and visit his sons at Christmastime.  To imagine that he would want to stay here in this snow?  What is worse is that he travels often to the states and is granted visas without problem.  

 

The Canadian immigration system treats everyone as if they are asylum seekers.  There is a huge problem here.

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Filed under Africa

What a weird day!

Today half the scheduled patients did not come.  In their places we fit in all sorts of the kind of emergency that happens just the week before Christmas – the teeth that have broken unexpectedly both front and back, crowns that come off at strategic moments, last minute finishing up things before insurance runs out at the end of the year, that sort of thing. 

One patient ended up in the ditch and was waiting for the tow truck as they called.  Can’t really blame them for not showing up. 

The lengths people will go to to avoid us!

It was just sort of a weird kind of day where nothing went according to schedule. 

 

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