Category Archives: Dealing with stuff

Comments on cultures
There is some discussion going on about First Nations people. See Leighton Tebay and Mark’s blogs.

The early church had to deal with some very prejudicial attitudes and God spoke fairly directly as to how we are to treat each other. I think that racism exists among Christians at about the same rate as it does in the general population. This is inexcusable isn’t it? If we are equal before God, who are we to take whole groups and treat them as if they are inferior just because our forefathers treatment of them set them up for horrible social consequences. Oh sure, not all of our forefathers meant to be racist, they were just like all the other people around them. Maybe it is time we Christians began to take some responsibility for those past actions not in a way that the problems are compounded but in some constructive ways.

My problem is that I am not sure of what to do. I personally can treat First Nations people as I would like to be treated and I can listen to the First Nations people I know and work with. I can speak up where I can when I see and hear abuse – but sometimes I’m not very brave. When I get angry enough I will speak up but I am not always at my most articulate then. I would love to have some more interchange of ideas with First Nations people but that is not always easy – to have an honest exchange of ideas. And it will I know require a lot of humility on our part because we are categorized as part of the power structure that abuses.

It is always an experience to talk to a dreamer and a philosopher and we have one living in our house. Our conversation rambles on between the feasibility of taking hydroelectric power and using it to create fuel cells to at the other extreme, the fears of ever daring to commit to a marriage relationship. Often the conversation seems to yo-yo between dreams and reality. Tonight we had one of those long talks. Always he makes me think. And wonder. What does God have in store for him?

Child, Philosopher, King

A child alone
Many miles and eons of difference to cross
Experiences running together like the words on unlined pages.
Was loneliness not there?

You came in
Not yet a part of us
Thrust into a world so foreign it could have been the moon.
What did you think?

What did you see?
The year that you went home
Silently becoming a stranger, seeing now through foreign eyes?
What changed you so?

Now that you
Are lodged inside my heart
What unknowing destiny will Gods great plan have you fulfill?
His next Philosopher? King?

This week we dropped off the papers we hope will be the key to bringing more of our “extended family” here to live with us, to attend school, to be raised in our home, to be influenced by our values and beliefs. Can I be the mother to ten kids in all? I am not SuperMom but I have experienced that God provides the necessary grace to do what he needs to get done. And I know that if God is in this, it will happen and it will be OK.
Linea 7:14 PM

My devotional reading this morning speaks of cynicism – a subtle sin that spreads doubt. It is a popular thing to be cynical. Too much optimism seems out of touch with the world around us. It is OK to be a cynic, to spread doubt and criticism. If our words are biting enough then people will listen. But if we are constantly being the cynic then what does this do to our community?

Hebrews 10: 22 – 25 says:

“…let us go right into the presence of God, with true hearts fully trusting him. … Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we have,for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.”

Today I will try to look for ways to encourage or receive encouragement. It is another “sedation day” so that may be a challenge for me.

There are a lot of you bloggers out there trying to answer the question of why blog. Are we similar personalities? I think I began because finally here is an avenue of expression for me. I am not a good person with oral words. I lose my train of thought quickly. I have difficulty in saying out loud what I really think. I find that most times when I speak I end up wishing I had never said that. Sometimes I even have to appologize for some stupid thing I said that when given time to reflect was not what I should have siad at all. I guess that is called sticking my foot in my mouth. It seems to fit in there too easily. When blogging, I can go back and correct, revise, even hold onto a thought and not publish it. Maybe even delete it. I definately wish I could do that with the words I say – quite often in fact. I am also an introvert but here I can speak without somehow worrying about it. After all you don’t have to read any of this and maybe no one does.
I also read blogs because you guys out there say a lot of really intelligent stuff. Some I don’t understand but most of what you say speaks to where I’m at. I feel like I have entered into a community that I like and feel at home in.

I keep mulling around in my head this whole classification of types of believers; moderns, post moderns etc. If as Fred Peatross says over in Future Margins, Moderns like to categorize everything does this make Fred a “Modern” because after reading his newsletter I feel as if someone has been trying to categorize me. Maybe it is just my personality or maybe my parents before me had already come to the realization that God can’t be understood and explained completely and passed that sense down to me.

I can remember as a student trying to wrap my brain around all those theological arguments and thinking “Wow, if I had a great theological mind maybe I could convince people God exists.” But I never was much good at theology and proofs so I had to be content with knowing God existed because I had felt his presence, he was all around me in his creation and because people who had gone before me had known him. I think I am still a very simple person when it comes to great theological debates. Too much theory makes my head spin and my brain hurt.

I know God is here, I love him more than I know how to express and I know that even when life seems desperately unfair in what it throws my way, there is no where else to turn but back to God. He expects and deserves everything from me but he also knows every weakness I have and he loves me -not what I do or bring to him – but me. He never expects me to do anything without his help. If I mess up, like a father he lets me crawl up onto his lap and he puts his arms around me. When my sore spots are healed he sends me off to try again.

What kind of a believer does this make me? I don’t much care and I wonder if God does.

I guess I can understand how you professional types (pastors and theologians ) might toss these weighty matters around between you. It must be a bit like me trying to decide if the patient has irreversible pulpitis, an inflammed pulp or a necrotic pulp. To the patient it is just a toothache and would I quit talking about it and get him out of pain.

Today we had a potluck lunch after church – a bridal shower actually. Randall talked this morning about how being the church is about our relationships with God and with each other. We also feasted at God’s table in the service. We were being a community of believers to each other. Some are old and set in their ways and don’t see the need for change to happen in the forms of our worship, some are young and think anyone over 30 is ancient and out of touch with the real world. Some are just being introduced to God and others are just about at the end of their journey on earth. Some probably don’t even know much about God. But we worshiped and fellowshiped together and it was good. I hope we brought glory to God. And I hope God forgives me for promising to put in a good word for Johanna because she (and some of the other youth) helped me wash the little tiny communion glasses. She’s a good kid, God bless her.

I was reading the story about the Pharisee and the tax collector this morning. It is so easy to play the role of the Pharisee at least for me. The material I’m reading asked the question “Who do I despise, where do my prejudices lie?” On the surface, I look pretty good. Yet the prejudices are deep in there and come out in my attitudes towards people. I know I come across as prejudiced and hypocritical to my oldest daughter but I chalk that up to her life choices that are not compatible with my values and what I hold dear. There seems to be a very fine line between being pharisaical and trying to live according to Christs principles.

The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust. Psalm 103: 13,14

God help me watch my attidudes! Remind me again and again of your compassion to me.

It is a beautiful start ot a new day. The sun shines, the grass is green and I am able to look out from my window as I write and watch the geese on the river. And I’ve just been talking with God and it was good.
I am getting ready to go to practice for worship this morning. I am thinking that this is one of the most anticipated joys in my life. I get to participate in the worship in a way that I hope brings glory to God. At least He is very indulgent and tolerates my joyful noise! God help my fingers hit the right notes today, at the right times!
As I was bringing my prayers to God this morning, I was bringing each of my children before Him. He made me realise that if my children were all perfect, I would probably never have needed Him so much. God keep my hands tightly grasped in yours as I live my life before them. Help them not to see only my weaknesses but some glimpses of You that would attract them to you.

For someone being brought up in a traditional evangelical setting I find I am drawn to the postmodern concepts more. I just discovered the comparison chart on Jordon Coopers website. But these questions plaques me – Am I too old for this? Am I just resisting becoming old? Does God want me to become dormant and let another generation take over or does He want me to participate in it? If I’m too old for this why do I find myself feeling alive as a Christian for the first time in a lot of years as I participate in worship and explore new ways of bringing Christ to my kids generation?

It was a unique experience taking my father and step mom to Saskatoon this afternoon for a doctors appointment. My Dad has Alzheimers and has had for a few years now. But today he seemed to have a big deterioration and so it really hit home how much of him we have lost already. I guess I am grieving the loss of a big part of him. He was always a person for whom I had a great deal of respect – intelligent, able to put a lot of stuff together in his mind, compassionate, patient, well respected in the community both for his work with special education when it was a brand new field, for the Christian counseling agency which he initiated and for his role as a pastor. Now he needs help to find the passages of scripture in a Bible study and gets lost in his own neighborhood. As I watched the doctor examine him so many thoughts and memories came into my head and I thought to myself “Doctor, do you know who this man is that you are examining? This is one of the most intelligent men I know. He’s my Dad. He may be housed in a very old and crumpled body and mind now but he was every bit your match at one time.” The doctor was good, the visit reassuring to me as he explained that part of his problem may be related to the new medication and that made a lot of sense to me.
We went and had supper before heading back up to Prince Albert. Driving back as we watched the sun set Dad started to sing the words of a song I hadn’t heard for a long time “Day is dying in the west, Heaven is touching earth with rest…” We talked about some old memories of mine and it didn’t really matter that two seconds after he couldn’t remember anymore – I do. Love you Dad.

“A burden will lessen after time but a calling will intensify over time.” p.95 God Whispers by Margaret Feinberg

I spent a lot of time last night listening to my son agonize over the war in the Congo. He is hurt by the passion he has for his own people and the indifference of most everyone around him. He doesn”t know how to handle his passions for his land. He wants to know what he can do to solve the problems. He wants to go back and fix things. He is like a fish out of water and he is having a hard time breathing this Canadian air. He wants to wake the world up. I am afraid he will be hurt by the indifference to his passion by his high school peers.