Category Archives: Dealing with stuff

There has not been a lot of time to blog this week.  I’ve had a very important visit from my daughter-n-law and the grandchildren on top of an exceptionally busy week at work.  Work has gone past 5 most nights and then it is home to organize supper and whatnot.  It seems as if every night I have needed to go out for picking up stuff at the store or back to the office for some more writing.

Last night was to meet a potential assosciate.  I liked her so maybe there is hope for me of slowing down.  This is just the start of checking things out so we will see.  But that hope is good.  It makes me realize that slowing down at work is something I really need.

Today I pack up and head up to the lake for a women’s retreat.  I look forward to some reading and will pack along the  laptop for some writing.

Before I go I have to make a visit to the hospital to get attached to a Haulter monitor.  Just following up on those irregular heart beats I had about a month ago.  Stress test comes in a couple more weeks.  Ever since my irregular heart beat incident I have been feeling great so I doubt there will be a lot of abnormal things found.  But one never knows!

I wonder what next week will hold.

A week ago Leo had his surgery. Since then he has made another trip up to Thompson to speak – on addictions, I think. he is back home now and his diet has gone from clear fluids to food that one could drink through a straw. Such a variety of foods – soup, tomato juice, yogurt with no lumps, milk.

He was eating his soup watching me eat a pork chop and vegetables with envy tonight. A few more weeks and he will be back on solids – just small, wee, tiny portions! A whole life style change and for the better.

And as usual, because of his speaking engagement, we were apart for the umpteenth year in a row for Valentines Day.

It has been a topsy turvy week – from the warm weather of Mexico back to the icy north. From a hotel room back to the comfortable familiarity of home. From time off back to a busy week of work. Friends going through surgery too and now entering the recovery stage. From office routines to the school dental program and six spacers on their way to the lab.

I was telling my spiritual director that in many ways this month for me has been about hope – hopes realized, some hopes yet to be fulfilled but now possibilities. I think this week was a little bit like a condensed version of the hopes of this month – pretty intense but good.

Some days I go looking to God for a lot; mostly solutions to some of the stresses in my life.  This morning, I sat talking to God before the worship service.  I was simply asking for some solutions to things I do not know how to handle.  Some things are clearly beyond my ability and – well, I need help.  I was not looking for some miraculous easy answers but I knew that I could not shoulder all the problems I was running into on my own. 

I said, “God, I need to hear something from you this morning.  I need to learn something that will help me handle the tough parts of my life right now.”

And then we gathered to worship and listen. 

During the worship time I was reminded of how much I enjoy the music and the prayers we lift up to God.  We draw together and we draw closer to God.  As part of the worship team it feels good to lead the people into God’s presence. 

This morning I was also listening to try and make sense of some things I am trying to deal with.  What I heard was helpful – God reminded me that he was the source of my help.  That he would be with me through whatever and that if I could just trust him I’d be spared the agony of a lot of worry about my own abilities to correct all the problems around me. 

After the service was done a couple of us sat and talked about a particular situation and sorted out some things to do with that.  Got rid of a lot of frustrations and began to understand that particular situation more clearly.  I left realizing that all would work out.

Ahh, if only the day would have ended there!

But no, I returned home to deal with another situation full of conflict and misunderstandings.  This one we sort of battled our way through till both wounded, we realized we needed to stop and bind up each others wounds.  That is nicer than the fighting part.

I guess a mother of many children can expect some conflict with them – especially when we are under the same roof, in each others space.  I hate conflict, and yet it seems to erupt around me.

Thankfully, we are half way through the day.  Most of the people here have just left for the cinema.  This little space of peace and quiet is a gift to me.  Working through conflict drains the energy from me.

An incident like this gives one a new perspective, although I know that this was not one of those life threatening events. Just the same, it made me think. It was after all my heart, not some part that I could dispose of easily.

And, although my mom did not die of heart disease, it seems as if she did have evidence of an old infarct at autopsy. A small infarct at some time I guess. She was only two years older than me when she passed away, although it was from an aneurysm and totally unexpected.

So, on the way up to the hospital I thought about the unpredictability of life. How it is important to live life fully while one has it; to enjoy each day as a gift from God; to appreciate the people God put into my life to love – my kids and my grandkids, my family and friends.

I guess it is a good thing to reflect on the things of great value in life from time to time. Maybe I should learn how to do that without the heart flutters – it would save the people around me some worry.