Category Archives: Devotional Reading

One of my regular practices is praying the prayers of The Divine Hours by Phyllis Tickle especially the morning office and the Compline.  I like the regularity of these prayers.  This morning part of the request for presence read, “Our God will come and will not keep silence.” 

It is good to be in the presence of God in the morning.  Lately it has seemed like silence many mornings even though I know he is there; I count on him being there even if my feelings don’t sense him. 

The last couple of days I have brought a bunch of my concerns to God.  He has his ways of making me pay attention.  He does not keep silence when we come to him.  But, I need time and quiet to hear him. 

I have always been a person of action – doing things, being busy with good things, helping out where I can.  But in the past few years, God seems to be drawing me into another sort of relationship with him.  More quiet, more listening for his voice before I act.  I need to learn how to operate and how to order my life for this new relationship.  I think that I am still the same person but when I was younger contemplation and quiet were not taught to me as ways to do the will of God – not that they were bad, just that Christians were supposed to do good things; put our faith into action.  I think God is bringing me back to a more balanced place.  It is a new way of looking at what I do with my time, learning to say no to some things, asking for more help with others.  Learning these sorts of things can be a bit painful.  Right now I am too busy and I need to work hard at freeing myself from some of the big demands on my time.  I have to look hard at how I function and who I am and who I want to be. 

It is tough.  Sometimes it means I won’t blog as much.  This is something I enjoy but it is not my first priority.  I want to be sure to have enough time to know my grandchildren.  I want time to spend with friends and my children.  I have to have enough time to spend with God – a need as well as a desire. 

Henri Nouwen writes:

How do we live in creation? Do we relate to it as a place full of “things” we can use for whatever need we want to fulfill and whatever goal we wish to accomplish? Or do we see creation first of all as a sacramental reality, a sacred space where God reveals to us the immense beauty of the Divine?

As long as we only use creation, we cannot recognise its sacredness because we are approaching it as if we are its owners. But when we relate to all that surrounds us as created by the same God who created us and as the place where God appears to us and calls us to worship and adoration, then we are able to recognise the sacred quality of all God’s handiwork.

One of the things I regret about becoming so busy is that it has taken away the time I need to enjoy God’s creation.  I haven’t done any photography of anything for weeks.  I haven’t gone for a walk for weeks.  I pass through God’s creation without being able to take the time I need to “recognise its sacredness” and so I miss out on the presence of God in it and on the way he communicates with me when I am present to him in it.

So, I resolve to take some time today, in the misty rain, to notice God’s presence around me.

The words of Henri Nouwen in todays meditation seem very appropriate for these days of pending loss of a dear friend from cancer, children moving away for work and school, children just trying out their limits. 

Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.

Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.

Love not only makes the homecomings painful, it makes the reunions sweet.

Leo came home late last night from Ontario.  That is good.

I have been reading this book by Henri Nouwen more as devotional reading than as a book to be read for head knowledge. So I have been going through it slowly.  There is much to be digested as one goes along.  Nouwen is always someone I have thought of as so intelligent, so spiritual and yet the things that he struggles with are not so different from what I struggle with; discouragement and depression, anger and even difficulty in connecting with God.  This is probably the most encouraging thing about this book – his honesty and openness that show me more about how God relates to us as humans, his beloved children. 

Here is something Nouwen said about Merton that I read just the other day.  It struck me as being an important comment on what it means to be a “minister”.  He says about Merton, “…his death has made him an even stronger catalyst that he was during his life.  He indeed made his own life available to others to help them find their own – and not his – way.  In this sense, he was and still is a true minister, creating the free space where others can enter and discover God’s voice in their lives.”

I like that phrase “creating the free space where others can enter and discover God’s voice in their lives.”  It emphasises the fact that it is God who we need to hear, not the one that ministers even though I believe God often uses people to speak his words to us.

So in this sense Nouwen is also a minister to me.  He helps me to see that I am a beloved child of God.  Reading about his struggles, which seem so familiar, opens me to the acceptance of myself as a child of the father, creating this free space where I can hear God calling me to live and listen for his voice. 

Other people also play the role of “minister” in my life and I thank God that he has put them there.  Most of these people do not bear the formal title of Minister, most are friends.  My spouse plays that role often and I am thankful for the free space he gives me to follow God in the ways that are most significant for me.

Maybe the most important question that arises for me from this statement is “Can I do this for others?”  I am hoping so but the only way to see this is from a long way down the path looking back, I think.  So I pray I may be sensitive both to God and to others creating this kind of a place where people discover God more deeply for themselves.

“The Lord is my shepherd
I have everything that I need.”  vs1(NLT)

These were the words of my morning reading.  I didn’t get much farther than this for awhile – the first few reads.  Something in these few words spoke to me strongly so that I couldn’t continue; spoke simply but loudly about trust.

“I have everything that I need.” 

Being a sheep, I don’t have to create my own pastures.  I don’t even have to find the pasture by myself.  The shepherd, The Good Shepherd, will lead me to places where I will find everything I need to sustain me and help me grow strong.  I simply need to follow.  Neither my work nor my efforts to find my own way will get me there. 

Jesus said something very similar when he used the metaphor of the field flowers.  The wild flowers are nourished and clothed in splendour by God their creator.  We can be sure that God will care for his human creations as well.

The 23^rd Psalm for me stirs memories in me of death or the waiting time with someone who is close to death.  I guess this particular Psalm is used then because it is so comforting.  But I think it is really a Psalm for living. 

“Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

All the days of my life

And I will live in the house of the Lord forever.”  vs 6

“Why does he eat with such scum.”  2:16b

Maybe the “wedding” we attended last night made this verse stand out.  I suspect Jesus would have fit in better than I did.  Maybe would have even polkaed around the floor a few times with old Polly. 

Come to think of it, maybe old Polly was closer to being like Jesus than I was.  There were two beautiful little girls there – about 5 and 7.  They were newcomers to Canada.  You can tell when the little girls come all decked out in absolutely gorgeous dresses.  Canadian girls would have come in jeans – but more likely would not have come at all with their parents.  These little girls were uninhibited about getting out on the dance floor and old Polly took them under her wing and was dancing away with them.  They were having a tremendous time.

There are times when I wish I could just dance with abandon.  My darn dignity, self respect, clumsiness and stupid shoes with heels get totally in my way!

This morning on reading this passage, I was struck by the fact that our only qualification for coming to follow Jesus seems to be the realization that we are unfit to be with him.  We can only feel at home with him when we accept his graciousness in full realization that we are only “scum”.  We possess absolutely no credentials that are of any value in qualifying us to be followers of him.  Dignity, self respect and being the wife of a doctor are no ticket for a spot sitting at his feet.  And actually, I’m glad of that.  I don’t have to pretend to be good enough cramming myself into some uncomfortable mold – like those black shoes of mine with the heels.  Just me, covered by his grace; that’s enough.  

Again and again the Psalms provide me with words from God that I need for the day.  Psalm 107 (NLT)

       Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good!
       His faithful love endures forever.

       Has the LORD redeemed you? Then speak out!
       Tell others he has saved you from your enemies.

       For he has gathered the exiles from many lands,
       from east and west, from north and south.

       Some wandered in the desert,
       lost and homeless.

       Hungry and thirsty,
       they nearly died.

       “LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble,
       and he rescued them from their distress.

       He led them straight to safety,
       to a city where they could live.

       Let them praise the LORD for his great love
       and for all his wonderful deeds to them.

       For he satisfies the thirsty
       and fills the hungry with good things.

And the examples of his love and care go on.  I hope I can write my own version – my own stanza one day.  I think I am still at the crying for help part in my present episode of the verse. 

Read the rest of this Psalm.

       Some sat in darkness and deepest gloom,
       miserable prisoners in chains.

       They rebelled against the words of God,
       scorning the counsel of the Most High.

       That is why he broke them with hard labor;
       they fell, and no one helped them rise again.

       “LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble,
       and he saved them from their distress.

       He led them from the darkness and deepest gloom;
       he snapped their chains.

       Let them praise the LORD for his great love
       and for all his wonderful deeds to them.

       For he broke down their prison gates of bronze;
       he cut apart their bars of iron.

       Some were fools in their rebellion;
       they suffered for their sins.

       Their appetites were gone,
       and death was near.

       “LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble,
       and he saved them from their distress.

       He spoke, and they were healed–
       snatched from the door of death.

       Let them praise the LORD for his great love
       and for all his wonderful deeds to them.

       Let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving
       and sing joyfully about his glorious acts.

       Some went off in ships,
       plying the trade routes of the world.

       They, too, observed the LORD’s power in action,
       his impressive works on the deepest seas.

       He spoke, and the winds rose,
       stirring up the waves.

       Their ships were tossed to the heavens
       and sank again to the depths;
       the sailors cringed in terror.

       They reeled and staggered like drunkards
       and were at their wits’ end.

       “LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble,
       and he saved them from their distress.

       He calmed the storm to a whisper
       and stilled the waves.

       What a blessing was that stillness
       as he brought them safely into harbor!

       Let them praise the LORD for his great love
       and for all his wonderful deeds to them.

       Let them exalt him publicly before the congregation
       and before the leaders of the nation.

       He changes rivers into deserts,
       and springs of water into dry land.

       He turns the fruitful land into salty wastelands,
       because of the wickedness of those who live there.

       But he also turns deserts into pools of water,
       the dry land into flowing springs.

       He brings the hungry to settle there
       and build their cities.

       They sow their fields, plant their vineyards,
       and harvest their bumper crops.

       How he blesses them!
       They raise large families there,
       and their herds of cattle increase.

       When they decrease in number and become impoverished
       through oppression, trouble, and sorrow,

       the LORD pours contempt on their princes,
       causing them to wander in trackless wastelands.

       But he rescues the poor from their distress
       and increases their families like vast flocks of sheep.

       The godly will see these things and be glad,
       while the wicked are stricken silent.

       Those who are wise will take all this to heart;
       they will see in our history the faithful love of the LORD.

Today’s daily reading from Psalm 93 brought images of the ocean to my mind – the vast expanse of water, the roaring sound of the breakers when walking along the shore.  David must have made trips to the sea.  He must have felt as dwarfed by the waves on the Mediterranean as I did by those on the Pacific.  The strength of the waves bring to mind the power of God as well as awe at his creation.

 Your throne, O LORD, has been established from time immemorial.
 You yourself are from the everlasting past.

  The mighty oceans have roared, O LORD.
  The mighty oceans roar like thunder;
  The mighty oceans roar as they pound the shore.

   But mightier than the violent raging of the seas,
   Mightier than the breakers on the shore–
   The LORD above is mightier than these!

At Gatecrashers prayer this morning, Randall read a story about growing strong trees.  The person planting the trees kept the growing conditions harsh in order to grow strong trees with deep roots that could withstand tough conditions – no coddling these trees to have them become dependant on artificial sources of water, etc. 

I had just finished reading the Psalm from the lectionary I have been following over this year – Psalm 84. 

Two things struck me as I read it and meditated on it.  First, the psalmist talks about his heart longing to spend time in the house of God – something I have experienced.  I can appreciate this feeling of longing. Then in a later part of this psalm, he talks about being on a pilgrimage. 

Happy are those who are strong in the LORD,
       who set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
       it will become a place of refreshing springs,
       where pools of blessing collect after the rains!

They will continue to grow stronger,
       and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem. (vs 5 to 7)

I know that he is referring to Jerusalem but I think it applies to those of us who are on this pilgrimage towards God – towards knowing God more deeply.  On this pilgrimage, the travelers pass through valleys – one being the valley of weeping.  As they pass through this valley changes and becomes filled with springs of joy, flooded with blessing, sorrow transformed to joy.  And the journey makes the pilgrim stronger.

This valley is where I find myself now.  Watching my son and daughter-in-law struggle in their marriage seems a big and deep valley full of sorrow.  I can’t see the road leading up and out of it yet.  I feel like I am walking blindly.  Maybe the thing is to just keep walking anyway, trusting God simply because there is no other god or power to trust but him. 

The story of the trees and the psalm about the pilgrimage through this valley both seemed to speak to my present situation.  I am glad I have roots that have grown deep enough to help me weather the present storm. 

I know that God’s plans for me are good plans even if I have no idea how they will look.  I remember his promise to care for my children and his words of love spoken to me in an earlier dark hour. I will not let myself just sit down in this valley and cry.  I will keep on this pilgrimage even if I am walking with my eyes blinded by tears.  I will keep on with whatever hope for joy ahead that I can right now.  I know deep inside, in my roots, that God is here beside me.  My hope.  My rock.  My solid foundation. 

A lot of what I learned this weekend had to do with resting in God.  The past few months have been full of stress at home and at work.  I was in need of rest.  The retreat gave me time to rest physically, mentally and spiritually, if that is the right term for the kind of spiritual refreshing I received.  Solitude and quiet regenerate me.

We had four sessions in which we practiced Lectio Divina.  Our first was this passage from John 15 verses 1 to 5.  These are the words God spoke to me.

“…You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you.  Abide in me as I abide in you…”

You have already been cleansed,
He says.
Rest,
He says.
I have spoken my word
To you.

Rest,
He says,
Does not mean that you let go;
As a branch
Falling from the vine.

Rest,
He says,
Means you drink deeply of my sap:
My life must flow
In and through your branch.

Rest
And be my branch.
Draw life from me.
Bear fruit.