Today there is a hole
Dark and deep
Within me.
I look over the edge
And try to see
What’s there.
Just blackness.
I am not wise enough
To see the depths.
I feel all lost
As if I am wandering
Perhaps I lost my compass
In that dark hole.
I wonder why I dropped my compass
Just at the moment I tried to see
The depths.
Maybe one should not try so hard
To see what wisdom hides,
Trusting to be led from day to day
By one whose hand is steady and
Already knows the way.
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Filed under Poetry and Stuff
Tonight the music lessons resumed. We played through one page of the Brandenberg Concerto. Twice.
One hour.
I’m so good.
😉
Honestly, this is great progress. The crazy thing is that I am still at it. And still am enjoying it.
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Filed under Uncategorized
by the way the stuff I am led to investigate for my papers becomes a useful source of information for the questions people pose in real life.
I am writing – well getting ready to write – an essay on mysticism and ecstatic experiences in Christian spirituality.
Last night our group of women book readers spent a long time talking about this very subject. I’m not even sure what led up to the beginning of the conversation. It was good to share stories. It is good to remember the experiences we have had with God.
Then this morning, a staff member is getting into a book on psychic stuff. That is not where I want to go. I know too much to think that this stuff is harmless. It seems as if people are fascinated by spirituality but stay far away from the real source of spiritual power,God, finding their information in the “wisdom” of another human.
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Filed under Dealing with stuff
New around our house – Leo is on a low/no carb diet in order to get ready for lap band surgery. He is doing so well that I may try it too. I could stand to lose a few pounds. Leo is following the South Beach diet. The purpose is to shrink his liver so that the surgery will be easier. He also stands to lose about 20 pounds in the process.
Yesterday I traveled to Saskatoon for an appointment with my spiritual direction supervisor. It was a good meeting.
I also used the opportunity to spend time with three of my kids there. Patrick and Amanda and I went to lunch at Moxies. Wow, have they redone their decor since I was there last. Very posh.
Then to a very unposh but utilitarian recording studio to see Christian. He is drumming for Josh Palmer and they are recording a disc. They got a grant or something so they are working with a professional recording person and have been able to upgrade some of their equipment. It was fun to listen in. I was in the sound booth. What an incredible mixer!
Then off to see Rachelle and Ronin. Asen was studying at his place. Took Rachelle out for an early supper. By that time I could feel my cold begining to make my head ache and my eyes water. Went to her place and crashed on her bed for an hour before driving home.
The ride home was god. The roads were pretty clear. The sky was also clear and out there in the middle of nowher, away from the city lights, they sparkled beautifully in the sky. My headlights were so dim though that I had to get out and wash road gunk off them to see my way home.
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This was an interesting bit out of a book I am reading , Discernment: A Study in Ecstasy and Evil by Morton Kelsey.
Many Christians have a strange attitude toward disbelief and disbelievers. They treat them as the worst of sinners and shun them the way that many people shun the sick and the poor. Yet if there is a meaningful reality which we humans can know and be touched by, and we are unable to find it, the trouble is with our understanding and with our experience; our morals are not defective. Perhaps the reason for this attitude toward agnostics and atheists is the unconscious lack of belief on the part of many Christians in the last three or four hundred years. Condemning others may well be the Christians’ personal reaction to their own unconscious doubt. It threatens them to have to face and handle someone who does not believe as they say they do.
He goes on to describe practices that need to be evident in people who desire to help others, one of which is to be an example of the meaning to which they direct the person seeking meaning. So, if I want to help anyone questioning issues of faith or the meaning of life, I must be living a life which has meaning, is authentic and consistent with my faith. I will have had to have wrestled my way through some of the issues others face to a place of knowing who I am, some of what has meaning in life for myself and authentic faith lived out in action in my life.
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Filed under Books and Articles, Dealing with stuff, Quotes
Good thing it is a short week. It was hard to go back to work today.
I guess a vacation is never long enough – until a person retires and then it could end up being too long.
I wonder….
Nope, I think that I will find plenty to do. But maybe I can work long spells of relaxation and reading into my schedule. Those will be the days!
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It was a beautiful way to spend a few days. The weather was mild. A fog kept the landscape covered in white.
It was so quiet in the forest that as the ravens flew overhead their wings could be heard beating the air.
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Filed under Christmas, Day to Day
Thanks to all of you who were thinnking of Rachelle. We are in from the lake and on our way up to see her at the hospital. Asen is holding down the fort, so to speak, bottle feeding Ronin till she can take up her usual place as prime food source again.
Maybe she will get a few hours at the lake if all goes well.
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About 3 am Rachelle had an acute gall bladder attack. Horrible pain. So her day has not been the greatest and our plans for going out to the lake have shifted a bit. We’ll be back and forth I’m sure but she will probably not get to enjoy this at all. She will have surgery either tonight or tomorrow – most likely tomorrow. We have been waiting all day at the hospital and she is on heavy pain killers and antispasmodics.
She is a tad disappointed since this was her big idea – some family time at the lake. So upon her insistence, the rest of us are going out and will try to have a good time remembering where she is.
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Chilling out after a big day yesterday. The leftovers are just about gone. I remarked to my kids that it is a bit like a flock of vultures descending on the remains!
I am enjoying some of the gifts received last night. I am getting my new little i-pod touch set up. So, I have been playing with that. We also got a new and faster router so downloading songs and pictures is not so painfully slow. Stuff does not time out on me at least. Now when I watch a you-tube clip I can watch it without waiting for it to download in little bits.
New cordless mouse too. Nice.
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Filed under Christmas
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