I guess tough times are to be expected, but it is no fun. And when my kids are the source of the stuff that brings the hard times it is about the hardest sort of hard times. I think it is because I love them. I have those moments when I probably feel more like killing them (or seriously maiming them at least) but not too deep down I love them so much. So much that I can be hurt by them pretty easily. So I am not going to sit by and watch them slip and slide into stuff they shouldn’t be doing. Right now, I have one who seems to have realized that some stuff is not good and is trying to break free and another who I don’t think realizes just how much and how serious the trouble they are headed towards is.
So I seek words to talk to them with. I want to say things that will get my concern for them across without my getting angry. I want them to know and understand that I don’t want my trust of them to be taken lightly. I don’t want them to think I am a fool that can be easily trumped by deceitful words from them.
I don’t know if I am even doing the right thing. That seems to be the hardest thing about life – not knowing the end result of our words or actions and not being able to go back and do things over if we mess up. Wisdom – what I seek but not always what I demonstrate.
So this has been a rather tough sort of day. And tomorrow I head into a short stretch of single parenting. So if any of you think of praying for me over the next few days, I sure could use it.
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