It is a bit weird around here these days. I’m back at work so my days are busy. Then I come home and the house is pretty much empty. Sara comes home at 5:30 and informs me she is going to her boyfriend’s mother’s birthday supper so won’t be eating. Leo comes home a bit later and by that time our supper is ready.
Of course I’ve cooked at least twice as much as I needed to. My fridge is quickly filling up with leftovers.
Obviously, I am going to have to learn to cook differently.
Then the evening settles in. I had errands to run last night so was kept busy till about 9. Then, there seemed as if there was a sort of vacuum in my schedule. I had no papers to write, no books that I had to read. No grandchildren dropped by. I was sort of lost.
Time to rethink that rule of life I worked on a year or so ago. I don’t want to just drift along through life aimlessly from now on. And I am not sure that I am quite ready for more serious studies, although there is an itch in there that may drive me to that.
I seem to still find myself in some sort of an in between time – a time of waiting and unsettledness. Stuff is brewing but it is hard for me to put a name to it – I think I may be afraid to. I seems that something I feel pushed towards, I am feeling too old to start. And yet, what does it mean to be too old? I likely have another 20 years or so of pretty good quality life – although that is never certain.
So, this stuff is stewing around in my head and heart and I am not sure why. Weird. I must be patient and see what comes.
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