LineaLanoie's Weblog

This morning my reading took me to Matthew 6:19 to 34. One of my favorite verses is in this passage – verse 34

“So don’t worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will bring its own worries.
Todays trouble is enough for today.”

I need to hear this since my natural tendency is to worry and despair.

The whole passage is also about the wise use of money. More than some, in our last few years, God has blessed us with abundance financially. It’s also a big pain since we could support a couple of families on what we pay to CCRA. And even so our spending always seems to exceed the resources.

Leo aptly describes children as parasites who latch onto our wallet at birth, not letting go until it is sucked dry. It doesn’t take long with 3 in University and one starting a business and a family – we have 3 to 6 more kids in the lineup for university funding too over the next 6 or seven years. They had better take good care of us in our old age!

Leo visited the accountant yesterday. We have back taxes, kid expenses and a big bill coming up for refinishing the exterior of our house. So it is a good time to be reminded of the bounty of God’s provision. We also have to be reminded of the necessity of using God’s resources wisely. When money is abundant enough it is easy to waste on little indulgences and to get selfish with it.

Matthew 6: 32 and 34 say:
“Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.”

Today was sort of an in between day at work. In between the weekend and Canada Day and our office was running in slow gear. I guess it is easy to forget a dental appointment when the weather is nice and the lakes beckon. I would rather have been at the lake today too. It is easier to work well when things are running pretty tight. Then it seems that things keep moving on schedule and the day goes by fast. It seems that we all shift into sleepy mode when we have a big gaps in our schedule.

This week our summer student starts and our Hockey player wife dentist starts her summer locums the next week. Vacation is not too far away but my partner gets his turn first.

Tonight at supper we had to have a “little talk” with one of our kids. Christian the drummer, wanna be independent looking after himself guy, needed a little parental reminder that growing up and becoming independent does not mean that you get to do what you want to do without regard to the other people who live in your household. Otherwise, shouldn’t we parents get to do that too. After all, if life isn’t fair for us adults who get to do “everything we want to do”, it would hardly be right if it were fair for the kids! So we had the great setting of the curfew talk and reminded him that he had been pretty rude to all of us over the last few days and that if he didn’t want us to ground him(as he is quite aware we would have done if his sister had been the tardy one) he’d better use his great maturity to start letting us know his plans and keeping curfew.

And you know – a kid that, on his own initiative (because he didn’t spend the night at home) comes on time for worship practice(chalk one up for maturity) on Sunday morning smelling like he spent the night in a brewery (take off two points for stupidity) would be smarter not sitting so close to his mother in that condition. Mothers so provoked are highly likely to give out a lecture on the evils of drink! Actually I thought I did quite well to restrain myself till tonight. I’m getting wiser in my old age having made enough mistakes to learn from some of them.

Rudy in his urbanonramps blog is talking about how he is going to be “father” to a whole bunch of kids at Harambee. There is probably no greater or more difficult task. And it is so hard to do that in such a way as to pass on the faith. So I would pray for him that he will be filled with an amazing amount of love so that in spite of his mistakes(and every parent makes lots of those) the kids will see the love of The Father shining through him.

Leo and I both tend to automatically wake up early – bad habits are hard to break. We are getting to be more “mature” adults – in other words we both have a lot of grey hairs. After 33 years together sex isn’t the only intimate thing we do in bed. This morning we began to reminisce about our life together and how God shaped us both. It is a wonderful way to spend an early Saturday morning. We have learned a lot from each other. And from God. And God seems to be pushing us to go a bit deeper with him all the time and it looks like this might be one of those pushes. We are sort of exploring how God might use us to share our faith with those who will never feel comfortable going to a church building, at first at least. How we don’t know, so we are talking and exploring. I want to see how the worship freehouse works so I’m planning on going to this event.

Then I go to a parent meeting for youth group and find myself being just the kind of parent I don’t want to be – the kind that puts their foot in their mouth – reacts first before thinking. Boy, God sure has lots of work to do on me yet. I always feel so drained when I know I’ve been a bit of a fool. I always wish I could hit the rewind button of life so many times.

Now we are off to Saskatoon; pick up a keyboard, meet with a lawyer about some immigration stuff and take part in Leo’s 30 year medical school class reunion. My classmates will be there too since we were in the same year and most of my calssmates still practice dentistry in Saskatoon.

Last night we enjoyed an evening in French. It was our youngest child’s “Meritas” or in other words “Awards ceremony” and last day of school except for picking up report cards. Next year she has chosen to attend St Mary High School with our other children. I am sorry to see this phase of her life come to an end but she really wants to move on to a larger school.

This last year Sara had the experience of being the president of her student body. So last night she had to give the speech to welcome everyone to the Meritas. She decided that since she was the president that it was legitimate to have a speech writer so like a true president she delegated the task to her secretary. It turned out to be a good speech. Sara has a very nice French accent so it was a joy to hear her talk. I hope she keeps this fluency as she heads out into the English speaking world.

The evening was also the retirement event for one of the long time teachers at Ecole Valois. Mme Marchildon gave a lot of herself in the establishing of Prince Albert’s Francophone school. Patrick was asked to give one of the appreciation speeches. Mme Marchildon was one of his mentors giving many extra hours to helping him adjust to life as a student in Canada. It was a fitting speech – oh that boy could be a politician or a lawyer. He doesn’t like being called a boy anymore though.

Racism and prejudice against “other” people seems to be such a universal evil. I read with sadness Randall’s story about a mutual friend and wish I could somehow do more for her. Why can’t we provide her with a safe place after all she has already gone through. Why can’t our government make immigration for her other daughter and husband less formidable and shrouded in red tape. Why, why , why… Life is too incredibly unfair for some people.

Linking to the BBC to see how things are going in the Congo, I come upon this story and it reminds me of other horrors told just too recently about the same area around Bunia. My heart cries for the innocent victims who have to raise their children in such turmoil.

On Hearing of the Atrocities in Bunia and Seeing the World’s Complacency

I Cannot Comprehend

It is impossible to comprehend
The weight of these atrocities
On my heart and mind.
I cannot, I cannot comprehend
The difference, the value lost
From being small and black.
These are my people
Does no one care?

How can one become so crazed
As to crush a babies skull?
In wanton luxury
Of all that is evil
Kill innocence?

Is the life of a small black child
So dispensable as not to
Matter at all
In the eyes of the economies
Of our world?

What value do we put on restraint
When those we are watching
Are mad crazed for blood,
Schooled and incited
To butchery?

It is impossible to comprehend!
The weight of these atrocities
Eats at my heart and mind.
I cannot, I cannot comprehend.
My anger ferments into rage
As governments procrastinate.
Their pain too shallow,
The child is not their own.

This morning my Psalm reading included two that have to do with a “problem” that is a constant recurring theme of my life – my children. Well at least 80% of my challenges in life come from the fact that I have so many children. And God says:

Children are a gift from the Lord
they are a reward from him. …
How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them!… Psalm 127: parts of 3,4,5

And look at all those children!
There they sit around your table
as vigorous and healthy as young olive trees.
This is the Lords reward
For those who fear him. Psalm 128:3b to 6

Do you sometimes feel that God is blessing you or maybe just has a good sense of humor as your children sit around your table eating every last morsel and then coming back to raid the fridge in an hour?

I guess we have chosen to fill our quiver but sometimes the arrows fight with each other and they certainly are a challenge to feed – not just with food but with the right emotional support. They seem to empty the emotional fridge as quickly as the electrical one. Restocking the emotional one is a lot more fun though as they return with a few hugs and as you watch them have a good time together – their quarrels put aside for awhile.

Today we have all the challenges of work for four of us, end of classes for another, and getting together the grandparents for an evening of celebration for our daughter who finished her GED. After there are soccer and worship practices. And I get to be the mom – the great disorganized organizer who tries to keep it all together. But I expect a few hugs at the end so it will be OK.

Sometimes it is really hard to be a mother. I want too much for and from my kids and maybe I expect just too much from them. I would love to have more harmony among all of them. I would love to see more responsible decisions made. I would like them to be more perfect. But I really don’t seem to have much control some days. Do you know what I mean? Some days I seem to be on their cases all the time and I think I must come across as an invader into their lives rather than a nurturer. I wish it were easier to parent well! I am constantly having to give them back into Gods hands when I realize I am grasping them too tightly. I think I am a pretty easy going mother but it is hard to back off, let God do his thing in their lives, when I see things going on that I don’t like!

Teach me God to trust you to care for them and at the same time to listen for your guidance as to when to intervene since you have given me the job of being a mother to all of them.