LineaLanoie's Weblog

Yesterday Leo and Christian left for Calgary to have an interview at the US consulate for Christian’s visa so he can attend CHIC in Knoxville, TN at the end of the month. This has been a big concern for us since we want to see him go, we have already paid a few dollars towards his trip, etc. And we have been praying that the event will be a blessing to him in his somewhat struggling walk of faith. He is Congolese. A landed immigrant, to be sure, but still with the cursed Congolese passport. That means that no one trusts you and you have to prove that you have enough ties in your adopted land to ensure that you will return there.

If we tried to make more of a mess of the whole process I am not sure how we could have improved on it. I got home from work at 5:30 to find all the papers and the passport on the kitchen table. Thank God for cell phones. I called them and they had been blissfully ignorant of the missing papers for about the last 600 kilometers. So they turned around and headed home. I was to drive and meet them somewhere along the way.

Just then in walked our oldest son – having one day off with his wife. “Don’t worry, Mom,” he said, “I’ll go.” So we all switched vehicles so that he would take the one that uses the least fuel. And off he and his wife went – in separate vehicles so she could drive their car to Saskatoon where it had to go in for some maintenance. What a way to spend your one evening together in two weeks!

The envelope exchange happened in Rosetown. And then I got another call. In the package there were no report cards, no letter of registration proving that Christian was indeed registered for CHIC. So another chase began. I called my sister in Calgary. They would get the papers to Christian if I could fax them before 9 am. They would then drive into Calgary and meet the guys.

Another phone call to Randall. “Please can you write me a letter that looks real official saying that Christian is indeed part of the youth group going- PLEASE” And I dug out the report cards, etc.

Funny. I went to bed with a headache and woke up with one too!

This morning the fax went through. I was doing a lot of praying and a lot of other people were too. At noon I got a phone call. The visa was granted! Wow! God is good. Only he could have pulled this one off. It looks like all we can claim the credit for in this is a whole lot of mistakes made.

I wonder if God is trying to teach us a lesson in just who is really in control – us, governments and immigration officers – or himself?

When I told one person about going off to our family reunion, she sighed and said she knew how those could be, as if it must have been a big chore going. She was surprised when I told her we had a great time. Maybe we have a strange family. Maybe we don’t see each other enough to get tired of each other.

Folks at the Frost/ Johnson reunion traced their roots back to two sisters, Anna and Ellen Ostergren, who immigrated to Canada back in 1896 and 1899. My grandmother, Anna, shown in her wedding photo was 16 when she came over to Canada. Her sister came three years later. My grandmother worked as a servant till she developed her own catering business, then married my grandfather Fred. She died when she was in her 50’s. My mother was then about 18 so I never knew her. My grandfather also died long before I was born. So I only know them through the stories of others. My cousin produced a wonderful book of our family history for this reunion. I’m glad there are people in our family who are so good at preserving our family heritage in this way.

At the reunion we ranged in age from about 8 months to 85 years. I wonder if there will be any of the older generation at the next reunion. It is scary to think that my generation will probably be the older one at the next few reunions. But we will undoubtedly get together to celebrate our family, our heritage and our faith. And we take the time each reunion to remember those who have gone on – only my Uncle Carl remains of my moms brothers and sisters.

We also came from all over North America and from as far as London, England. From Vancouver to Halifax, from Texas to Kentucky. There were school custodians, teachers, professional dancers, lawyers and engineers, pastors and missionaries, farmers, heavy equipment mechanics, doctors and nurses, stay at home moms and stay at home dads. Yeah and even one dentist.

We had a talent show as we always do after our banquet – mostly so we can show off how talented our kids are! One of my cousins did a great magic show for the kids. Grace danced and danced so well! She danced a Hip Hop routine to “Shackles” and did it so well. It was a blessing to me – like her feet were really unshackled to praise God.

Oh! I am really one of the luckiest moms in the world. Give me a few days and they will bring me back to earth with a thud.

I missed getting Sara to practice at 1:00 today and I had promised her that I would. Then a situation came up at work that demanded all my concentration and the time for going passed. The fact is that at that moment my work was more urgent than my kids demands. It is pretty hard for Sara to understand this and it makes me feel rotten too. She says she understands but the fact is that I let her down and I couldn’t even stop in the middle of what I was doing and call her to let her know.

Being a mom at this moment is not fun and being a dentist at this moment sucks! I did what I had to do but there was no joy in it. The patient got the best part of the deal – I hope!.

God gives good gifts.
And he gives them when and where they are needed.
And some of my friends, my kids, myself have stuff that we need right now.
And my natural tendency is to jump in to see what I can do and right now the answer is not much.
But I can pray and I can ask God. His resources are endless and so I need to go to him. And like a good father he will provide the good gifts we need.

Matthew 7: 11
“If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

I think sometimes we are given some difficulties that can either make us despair or make us smarten up and turn back towards God. My reading from the Psalms this morning reminded me of this too. Psalm 143: 7 and 8

Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
or I will die.
Let me hear of your unfailing love to me in
the morning,
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
for I have come to you in prayer.

Last evening I was given a gift. My drummer boy brought home a beautiful set of planters. A late Mother’s Day gift he said. Maybe it was a peace offering. Maybe he sensed in advance that he would need to atone somehow for his sins.

It is a totally humbling and very overwhelming experience to receive gifts that are totally unmerited in the sense that I am not the mother” just standing in for her. Here I am accepting a gift that rightly should belong to someone else. I keep having this happen to me on the part of my children”. The sense that they love me is too powerful for words at times. They, Jacques and Régine, gave this up so that the boys could have an education. And I don’t know just how to accept the gifts sometimes. I wish I could wrap them up and return them to their rightful owners. I feel as if I am usurping a right that should only belong to them. They gave it up freely but did they know the cost?

I certainly didn’t know the cost emotionally that accepting two kids into our family would exact from me. There is something so different about having children as a part of your family who you have neither chosen to birth or adopt. They were just coming for school and I did not intend to let my heart get tangled up in trying to love them. I intended to just give them a safe, caring place to live while they got their education. Little did I know the consequences of that decision. I had no idea how love would work its way into our relationships in such a subtle way that when the crises came I would find that my heart had already been taken over by these two young men. I love them. I love them as surely as I love my biological and adopted children who I set out from the start intending to love.

I have learned that love is expandable. If Love lives in you, it is not going to be possible to limit the level at which God expresses himself. The more you make room in your home the more room you will find. The more Love you let grow in your heart, the bigger your heart will get. God’s grace is sufficient.

Oh yeah I do get the agonies of worrying over them too and the toil of disciplining. I get to deal with the sorrow of homesickness and depression and the hurt of angry words passed between brothers. But seeing these guys grow up into young men is a reward well worth the hard times.